Is It Wrong To Ask, “Why?”
When the phone rings in the middle of the night, it’s usually not good. That was the case when a dear pastor friend answered his phone after celebrating Christmas in 2022. Half asleep, he said, “Hello,” and received the worst news of his life. His brother’s house was on fire.
He rushed to the scene, only to find the house engulfed in flames. His brother and sister-in-law, their son and daughter-in-law, and two grandchildren, ages three and four, were inside the home. Six precious family members were snatched away in one night.
Naturally, our friend wrestled with “Why?” His brother was his best friend. A heart attack would have been tragic. A drowning accident would have been heartbreaking. But a fire that claimed him and his family? Why?? As he prayed through tears, the Lord brought this passage to his mind:
“Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?” (Job 38:4)
At first glance, this seems like a hard answer for our friend. Was God being cold towards our friend, or to Job? Both would say, No. Instead, it’s a reminder that God is still God, even when life makes no sense.
No Explanation
“Why?” We’ve all asked that question countless times. When I was a child and asked “why” about something that was too much for my mind to grasp, Mom would say, “If I told you right now, it wouldn’t make sense. Trust me… one day you’ll understand.”
The Lord never explained all of Job’s suffering. Instead, He spent four chapters revealing His Almighty power. God reminded Job that there are things beyond human understanding. Paul echoed that thought when he wrote: “For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor?” (Romans 11:34)
We serve a God who is all-knowing. His ways are perfect, even when we can’t comprehend what He has allowed.
I’ve never personally known a tragedy that resembles Job’s loss more closely than what our friend experienced. But all of us have faced trials that left us searching for answers. A dear couple in our home church lost their sixteen-year-old son in a drowning accident. A car crash claimed the life of a friend of ours and she left two small children behind. Another friend endured the loss of a brother in a train accident, a sister who was murdered, and later a teenage son in a shooting accident.
My list (and yours) could go on and on. Do we always get answers? Does anything make sense? No. Sometimes the more we try to unravel some tragedies, the more confused we feel. Is it wrong to ask, “Why?” Not necessarily. Scripture records godly men and women asking “why?” in difficult places. Even Jesus cried from the cross, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” But in spite of the darkness and silence as God turned His face away, the Lord continued to trust His Father’s plan. The question “Why?” does not offend God when it comes from a hurting heart seeking an answer. What we must guard against is when our questions become accusations against His authority and His character. How the Lord perceives our question depends on our motive.
One of the most powerful testimonies I’ve ever witnessed came after the teenager from our church drowned. When his parents returned to church, the grief was still fresh. Tears streamed down the mother’s face as she walked to the place where her son had always sat. Then she said something I’ll never forget:
“Church, I’ve read about Job and how he looked on every side and couldn’t find the Lord. But in this trial, everywhere I look, all I can see is Jesus.” (What a testimony!)
Carried By The Shepherd
Years ago, the Lord gave me a song called The Shepherd’s Point of View. It speaks of how different our valleys look when we see them on the mountain from the Shepherd’s perspective. But the truth is, some valleys remain mysterious in this life. Some questions may not be answered on this side of eternity. So even when we cannot understand God’s plan, we choose to trust Him anyway.
Are you in a confusing place? Are you asking, “Why?” Is the enemy tempting you to doubt God’s goodness or become bitter toward Him? Please remember: the One who laid the foundations of the earth has not lost control of your life. He is still faithful. He is still good. He is still worthy of your trust. And maybe, like Mom told me years ago, the Lord is gently saying: ““If I told you right now, it wouldn’t make sense. Trust me… one day you’ll understand.”
Until then, keep trusting the Lord. One morning, faith will become sight, and every tear will be wiped away. We will finally meet the One who never failed us. We’ll see, in our darkest valley, when we were asking, “Why?” He was carrying us every step of the way.