Friendship Without Walls
Remember that old saying that a dog is a man’s best friend? I was at a gas station recently and noticed a truck with a dog sitting in it. The dog was staring intently out the front windshield so it aroused my curiosity. Looking in direction of the dog’s gaze, I could see no one around. Finally I noticed a man coming out of the station. This man was not well dressed, in fact he was unshaven and appeared quite dirty. But the dog went to the moon! Wiggling around on the seat and barking, you would have thought it was a New York chef bringing a ribeye steak. No, that dog was just glad to see his master.
Scientist are still intruiged by the bond of friendship between a dog and it’s owner. And over the years, stories have emerged of selfless acts of courage that have saved the pet owner’s life. Such as in 1992, Kathi Vaughn, a paralyzed paraplegic, was driving along the interstate when her vehicle caught fire. She pushed her dog, Eve, out of the vehicle so it would be safe. However, the dog came back. Pulling her owner by the ankles, Eve managed to get Kathi out of the burning vehicle, dragging her to a nearby ditch just moments before the truck exploded. The dog later received an award from the American Humane Association.
But to the dismay of pet lovers, this devotion is not about the heroic deeds of animals. This devotion is about you and me, specifically as friends. What would you consider to be the ‘perfect’ friend? Would it be someone that:
* is solely your friend and no one else’s
* always makes you smile
* always agrees with your decisions
* never gets on your nerves
Well, I have some good news. The friend we have just described can be found right now… sitting on the shelves at Walmart. All that’s required are four AA batteries. But even a toy, like any other computerized object is bound to get on your nerves at some point. So what is the perfect friend? How about someone that:
* respects your virtues and warns you of your vices.
* will tell you the truth, even if you refuse to accept it.
* will be there for you if you make the wrong decision
* will base all advice on biblical principals
Proverbs is a good source of wisdom regarding friends. “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17). “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24). “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17).
We can see the attributes of these scriptures with the friendship of David and Jonathan. What an unlikely pair these two friends were. A harp playing shepherd from the backside of the pasture, and a prince who was destined for the throne of his father, King Saul.
1 Samuel 18:1 tells us, “Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” Jonathan and David even sealed their friendship with a covenant. As part of this covenant, Jonathan “gave his robe to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt” (18:4). Keep in mind that these were special weapons and clothing, worn only by royalty! Jonathan was giving David the possessions of a future king. Jonathan was so dedicated to his friend, he was willing to give him everything, even his right to the throne.
Would you be willing to give up something dear to you, all for a friend? How about the castle that you have built around yourself? You will find many people that do not mind being someone’s friend, as long as that ‘friend’ doesn’t intrude on their personal space. In other words, I’ll unlock the massive iron gate of my heart, peek my head through the opening, and we can have a pleasant chat. But keep in mind that if you say anything to hurt my delicate feelings, I’ll slam the iron gate shut again. Sound foolish? Sadly this happens every day.
A friendship cannot exists by hiding behind emotional walls. You cannot truly be a friend until you allow someone access to your heart. Over the years, we have seen people in ministry that have built walls around themselves, all to avoid being hurt. Ever heard the saying, “It’s your fault if you hurt me once, but its my fault if you hurt me twice?” I pity you if you agree with that statement. Hurts and wounds are an un-avoidable part of friendship. Unless of course you’ve got the friendship that requires four AA batteries. If you are close enough to be loved by a friend, then you are close enough to be hurt by a friend.
And if you have been hurt by a friend, please make a commitment to never label that person as your enemy. No matter how much damage that has been done, there is still value left in your friendship that is worth salvaging.
A man once stood in front a large audience and held up a $20 bill. He asked, “Is this $20 bill, encashable in international and national markets for it’s quoted value?” The audience agreed.
He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up using both his hands till it became a bundle of wrinkled paper.
He then unfolded it and asked, “Would you still be able to negotiate it for it’s quoted value?”
” Yes!!” was the reply from the crowd.
“Well,” he said, “Looks like I haven’t done enough. What if I do this?” He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, which was now all crumpled, dirty, defaced and not easy to recognise from a distance.
“Now would someone like to trade it for its quoted value?” Many hands went in the air.
“Can this bill still fetch goods worth $20?” Every one agreed.
The speaker then said, “My friends, there is a very valuable lesson in this exercise that we just witnessed. It may have appeared to some of you, that I was able to deshape, deface, mutilate and alter this $20 bill”.
“However, no matter what I did to this piece of paper, you still upheld its negotiability because you were sure in your mind that my actions did not actually decrease its value. It was still a currency note worth $20!”
Child of God, you may feel like your friendship has been dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt. And when you look at the damage, Satan tells you that this friendship is now worthless. But before you give up, I encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 13. In this chapter of charity, verse 7 gives you instruction for your damaged friendship. Charity: “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” So on the instruction of this scripture, we must ‘bear’ long with our friend, ‘believe’ in the power of love, maintain ‘hope’ for the future, and patiently ‘endure’ the conflicts that are ahead. Who knows, just as the dog Eve pulled her master from a burning vehicle, you may be the one who pulls your friend back from the flames of Hell.
Build a friendship without walls!